Wedding Planning for Men

Find a woman, get married and live happily ever after...

...in 10 easy steps!

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Step 4. Proposing to your Girl

Without getting brutally rejected

Don't make it a surprise

I'm not saying that you should spell out exactly when, where and how you are going to be proposing, but you'd better make sure she has a good idea it's coming. If she has no clue, that means you guys really aren't communicating in your relationship, and things are probably doomed. It was different in the old days, men were supposed to make all the moves while the women just sat around and waited, but this is 2005 for goodness sakes, and women need to be involved. Besides, if she has an inkling of what's coming, she's not going to be caught off-guard, and she'll be less likely to say no, or say yes and retract it later. Of course she might make a pre-emptive strike and bail on the relationship once you start talking about getting engaged, but at least that saves you the hassle of returning the ring.

Some general rules of thumb

Okay, the first thing to remember here is that you are getting engaged, so the day is going to be special no matter what. I'm not saying just toss the ring on the couch during Oprah, but don't kill yourself on some elaborate scheme either. Focus on her, how much you love her, and just doing special little things for her all day. Things like breakfast, picnics and anything else that feels a little cliched is a great idea to pull out at a time like this. Then when she looks back on her engagement, she will always remember how sweet you were to her, and how much you guys love each other. Don't involve a bunch of other people either, this is between the two of you, and you are going to want to cash in on some once-in-a-lifetime engagement sex. I see these TV shows where the guy invites the girls family to surprise her right after he proposes, and I can't think of a better way to screw up a lovely day. And if involving a few people you know is bad, then involving an entire stadium at halftime is a lot worse. Finally, save that nice weekend trip or tropical vacation you had been planning for just after the engagement. You are going to be way more relaxed because the pressure of proposing is off, and you'll have a way better time. She's going to be thrilled about just having gotten engaged, and you'll have an awesome trip.

Other things to keep in mind

• Bust out the camera - you are going to want some pictures of this day
• Reserve her time - the details might be a surprise, but make sure she knows she's spending the day with you, or she might make other plans
• Shower - smelling good can only help your chances
• Propose near a bathroom - if you're anything like me, nerves get the bowels twisted in knots, and you'll want to be close to some facilities
• Propose early in the day - you get to spend less time worrying, and more time enjoying the fact that you just got engaged - it's only going to be half as exciting tomorrow
• Go easy on the alcohol - if she gets really drunk, blacks out and forgets what happened she's going to be pissed, you want her sober for this one

Step 3 --- Home --- Step 5

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