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Standing in the Urine of Others

From the Lonely Planet’s Airplane Passengers Bill of Rights:

The right of the passenger to go to the lavatory without shoes shall not be infringed, as it is really your own business should you want to stand in the urine of others.

Fair enough. I do have a question though: Who in the world wants to stand in the urine of others? Gross! I for one am keeping my shoes on.

via mhh5th

November 16, 2011   No Comments

Close the Darn Stall Door Already!

A partially open stall door says available.

A partially open stall does not say I’m in here peeing but I thought it was okay not to close the door because I’m standing with my back to it.

Got it?

November 8, 2011   1 Comment

Etiquette, Grossness and Necessity

I was performing a #1 today when an individual in a stall adjacent to me started performing a #2. Loudly, grossly, and from what I could tell rather moistly. Yuck. My first instinct was repulsion, followed by a general disappointment about the sad state of bathroom etiquette I was experiencing first hand.

Then it hit me – this isn’t something that was being done on purpose (at least I hope not). Etiquette is a complicated beast. The whole philosophy of etiquette is to be aware of others and to act in a way as to minimize or eliminate your negative impact on other people whenever possible. Those last two words are very important and bear repeating:

whenever possible

Etiquette is about doing your best when you can, and in this context not being gross when you can afford not to be gross, but sometimes grossness is a necessity.

Peeing all over the seat and not wiping it up is gross. It’s bad etiquette because you can and should clean it up.

Not flushing the toilet is gross. It’s bad etiquette because you can and should flush the toilet.

Taking a noisy poop is gross. It’s not bad etiquette if you can’t avoid it, and let’s face it – sometimes you can’t.

October 22, 2011   2 Comments

This Is How You Do Urinals

Check out these urinals in the newly-remodeled bathroom at Del Mar Plaza shopping center:

Look at that nice, deep, full-height wall between them. Now that’s how you do urinals!

October 18, 2011   1 Comment

LeAnn Rimes is Sitting In a Urinal

LeAnn Rimes was recently spotted sitting in a urinal (evidently posted by her on Twitter):

Okay, maybe it’s more on than in, but in either case she’s sitting on a big pile of pee. I mean did she wipe that thing down before she took a seat? What’s she doing in the men’s room anyways? Does anything that celebrities do these days make any sense at all?

via The Superficial

September 30, 2011   1 Comment

Four Seasons Aviara Has Crappy Toilet Paper

So Dr. and Mrs. ICBE spent 24 hours without ICBE Jrs #1 and #2 this past weekend, decease and had the pleasure of spending it at the Four Seasons Residence Club, buy cialis Aviara. I am not one for meritless praise but quite frankly the Four Seasons really kicked ass – except for the toilet paper.

All that stuff did was scratch my ass. Seriously, why would a luxury hotel chain stock bathrooms with the cheapest possible one-ply toilet paper they could find? Look how thin this stuff is…

Not sure how that stuff got past QC, but it really stuck out as a glaring flaw in an otherwise lovely stay.

September 26, 2011   No Comments

Men: Please Piss In Urinal…

Saw the following sign at Ciao Restaurant on Balboa Island:

Please piss in the urinal…
Keep it clean for everyone.
Thank you

The sign was placed above the toilet – there was a urinal on the adjacent wall. My first instinct was that they were simply reminding people to aim carefully (in the urinal as opposed to on the floor), but on reflection I realized this was specifically directed at convincing men to use the urinal rather than the toilet.

I’ve got to say, when performing a #1 I’m a fan of urinals over toilets for a couple of reasons:

  1. Easier to aim properly
  2. Less water usage

Cleaner and more environmentally sound – got to agree with the sign on this one!

September 14, 2011   No Comments

Video: Bathroom Etiquette 101 – Men’s Urinal Etiquette

Tonight I decided to have some fun and make a short educational video about personal space and urinal etiquette. As you will see for yourself, while the video quality isn’t superb the content is rather fantastic.

Watch the video on YouTube

August 16, 2011   No Comments

Urinal Rule Exceptions and Defensive Posturing

One of the wonderful things about having children is throwing all of your rules of bathroom etiquette out the window. Take talking in the bathroom for instance. When you enter a public bathroom with a 4 year old, it’s all “don’t touch the toilet” and “wash your hands” and “please pull your pants up“, words that simply should never be uttered in strictly adult company.

Well the other day ICBE Jr and I were dining at a restaurant when I accompanied him to the bathroom. It was the standard set of 3 urinals, and he took the kiddie-sized one on the left.

I went ahead and took the middle urinal.


I’m going to go ahead and repeat myself here – I took the middle urinal. Now on the one hand that was a grievous breach of bathroom etiquette. On the other hand, what I didn’t want to happen was to take the urinal on the right, and then have a third party enter and occupy a urinal between me and ICBE Jr. Much like in politics, etiquette is often about the lesser of evils.

August 16, 2011   2 Comments

Eating is the Opposite of What Bathrooms Are For

My most formative memories of my childhood all involve the bathroom. One time, during intermission at a hockey game, I was faced with two tasks:

  1. Get food from the concession
  2. Go to the bathroom

In my current wisdom and experience I know that there is right and a wrong order in which to perform these tasks, but at the time I wasn’t so knowledgeable. So I got my food. Then I took my food into the bathroom with me – as I recall it was a hamburger wrapped in a foil sack which I placed in my pocket – and went pee.

My parents spotted me after I did my business, and made the connection that I had just strolled into a public bathroom with food. They were less than impressed, and I hadn’t even taken my burger out of its wrapper.

Food and bathrooms don’t mix. It’s not just the ick factor either, with all the flushing that goes on germ-laden droplets are constantly quite literally whizzing (ha!) through the air. So I was more than a little disturbed to hear the following tale over at Eatocracy:

The intern with the shaved head was on her phone in the bathroom again. She seemed to regard the third floor ladies room at our office as her personal rec room which was…fine, if somewhat unnervingly intimate on occasion. I realized, though, that I’d severely, thoroughly, grossly underestimated her level of one-ness with these particular environment on the day several years ago when I saw her emerge from a stall, eating cereal. From a bowl. With milk.

Yuck! It’s not just wrapped food. It’s food that’s open to the disgusting environment of the public bathroom. And it’s not just open food, it’s open food that’s actively being consumed.

Eating is the opposite of what bathrooms are for. Don’t eat in the bathroom.

Read the full story at Eatocracy, including a few other tales of gross places to eat.

via J

August 1, 2011   1 Comment