Performing #1 and #2 in comfort and style since 1995

A couple of years ago I had the pleasure of being a guest on Peter Anthony Holder’s radio show. Well traditional radio is on the way out, online radio is on the way in and Peter has a new home at TheStuphFile.com (and a related blog too). Naturally, as his most popular previous guest (I totally just made that up) Peter invited me to be on his new show.

You can tune in this coming Monday, December 26th over at TheStuphFile.com or CyberStationUSA – prepare to be delighted! We talk about life, the ICBE, general bathroom etiquette and of course the latest fancy urinal video games.

The ICBE’s illustrious President had the chance to attend a White Elephant party this weekend, and took along a gift loaded with ICBE merchandise for the exchange. Hey, it’s all about marketing, right? The eventual recipient went through the usual range of emotions upon opening his gift: Disappointment, confusion, curiosity, more confusion and finally acceptance and perhaps even a hint of happiness.

I managed to capture a picture of the handsome devil in his beautiful new ICBE shirt, but he preferred that I obscure his face for reasons of privacy (embarrassment):

Congratulations mystery winner!

What do you get when you mount some Windows 7 powered tables above urinals? A pee powered collection of video games for guys that get bored really easily. My first thought when I saw this was: Hang on, other guys are going to touch their junk, then touch the screen, and them I’m supposed to touch the screen? Why don’t I just go ahead and touch their junk directly?

The good news is that you don’t appear to need to touch the screen to play, as it automatically senses your activity. Still, I spotted a screen with high scores – how did those get in here?

Read the full article and watch at video at BBC News (via bah)

PS: Your-rye-nal?
PPS: Previously

From the Lonely Planet’s Airplane Passengers Bill of Rights:

The right of the passenger to go to the lavatory without shoes shall not be infringed, as it is really your own business should you want to stand in the urine of others.

Fair enough. I do have a question though: Who in the world wants to stand in the urine of others? Gross! I for one am keeping my shoes on.

via mhh5th

A partially open stall door says available.

A partially open stall does not say I’m in here peeing but I thought it was okay not to close the door because I’m standing with my back to it.

Got it?

I was performing a #1 today when an individual in a stall adjacent to me started performing a #2. Loudly, grossly, and from what I could tell rather moistly. Yuck. My first instinct was repulsion, followed by a general disappointment about the sad state of bathroom etiquette I was experiencing first hand.

Then it hit me – this isn’t something that was being done on purpose (at least I hope not). Etiquette is a complicated beast. The whole philosophy of etiquette is to be aware of others and to act in a way as to minimize or eliminate your negative impact on other people whenever possible. Those last two words are very important and bear repeating:

whenever possible

Etiquette is about doing your best when you can, and in this context not being gross when you can afford not to be gross, but sometimes grossness is a necessity.

Peeing all over the seat and not wiping it up is gross. It’s bad etiquette because you can and should clean it up.

Not flushing the toilet is gross. It’s bad etiquette because you can and should flush the toilet.

Taking a noisy poop is gross. It’s not bad etiquette if you can’t avoid it, and let’s face it – sometimes you can’t.

Check out these urinals in the newly-remodeled bathroom at Del Mar Plaza shopping center:

Look at that nice, deep, full-height wall between them. Now that’s how you do urinals!

LeAnn Rimes was recently spotted sitting in a urinal (evidently posted by her on Twitter):

Okay, maybe it’s more on than in, but in either case she’s sitting on a big pile of pee. I mean did she wipe that thing down before she took a seat? What’s she doing in the men’s room anyways? Does anything that celebrities do these days make any sense at all?

via The Superficial

So Dr. and Mrs. ICBE spent 24 hours without ICBE Jrs #1 and #2 this past weekend, and had the pleasure of spending it at the Four Seasons Residence Club, Aviara. I am not one for meritless praise but quite frankly the Four Seasons really kicked ass – except for the toilet paper.

All that stuff did was scratch my ass. Seriously, why would a luxury hotel chain stock bathrooms with the cheapest possible one-ply toilet paper they could find? Look how thin this stuff is…

Not sure how that stuff got past QC, but it really stuck out as a glaring flaw in an otherwise lovely stay.

Saw the following sign at Ciao Restaurant on Balboa Island:

Men
Please piss in the urinal…
Keep it clean for everyone.
Thank you

The sign was placed above the toilet – there was a urinal on the adjacent wall. My first instinct was that they were simply reminding people to aim carefully (in the urinal as opposed to on the floor), but on reflection I realized this was specifically directed at convincing men to use the urinal rather than the toilet.

I’ve got to say, when performing a #1 I’m a fan of urinals over toilets for a couple of reasons:

1. Easier to aim properly
2. Less water usage

Cleaner and more environmentally sound – got to agree with the sign on this one!