Performing #1 and #2 in comfort and style since 1995

Mrs. ICBE and I went out for lunch to En Fuego in Del Mar recently. As is my custom, before eating I went to the bathroom. One there, I was presented with the following sight:

Did my eyes deceive me, or was this indeed a dual-flush toilet in the flesh? (I’ve only seen one once before) Well the next thing my eyes saw was this:

Curiously, I held down the right button and the toilet did indeed flush. Next, I held down the left button.

Nothing.

Apparently En Fuego managed to get their holds on a dual-flush toilet, but didn’t bother connecting the second button. Newsflash, dual-button is not the same thing as dual-flush!

On a side note, they also had a window in the bathroom opening into the restaurant! You could only see it from the sink, but still – creepy!

The other day, just as I was about to leave the bathroom, somebody entered. Since the door swung inwards, the individual held it open for me to facilitate my departure. Instinctively, I said “thank you”.

Did I just break one of the cardinal rules of men’s bathroom etiquette? Strictly speaking, yes – I spoke in the bathroom. However, occasionally there are situations whose rules supersede those of bathroom etiquette. In this case common courtesy dictated I say thank you, even though bathroom etiquette dictated I keep my mouth shut.

Common courtesy is more important than bathroom etiquette, and so there you have it – one of the rare occasions for a man where talking in the bathroom is acceptable! Don’t get carried away though! A simple thank you suffices…

Joe writes:

I don’t get the stall hatred. I just don’t see any shame in it. So what if someone shoe checks you out for a stander? As long as you don’t shut and lock the door you’re fine. That shows that you respect a brother’s privacy, but you take it casual enough to treat the stall as a de facto urinal, with no extra effort. It may be environmentally incorrect, but it’s how the world works. The only trouble you might encounter is if someone isn’t looking out an walks in, but that’s on his shoulders.

I’ve got to admit, Joe’s got me a little confused here. Stall hatred? That sure doesn’t sound like us, in fact we advise heading for the stall on many different occasions. In fact, we’ve even advocated the shoe check before.

I don’t get Joe.

As a man, a middle-of-the-night-in-the-dark pee session usually means one of three things:

1. You pee sitting down
2. You turn a light on and blind yourself for a minute or two first
3. You pee all over the seat and floor

While I simply opt for #1 (no pun intended) as a simple and effective solution, not everyone may be as comfortable peeing from a seated position. Enter the Jonny Glow, stickers designed to glow in the dark all night long and illuminate the toilet enough so that a man no longer has any excuse for missing.

Jonny Glow promises to be inconspicuous during the day and glow all night long. And if it ever stops glowing they promise to replace it – free! For only $12.95, it sounds almost too good to be true. I’ve never seen anything glow for more than a couple hours after the lights went out, but I’d love to be proven wrong!

via mhh5th and Jalopnik

This afternoon I went to the bathroom. The particular bathroom I chose has a couple of water fountains right outside. As I entered I passed an individual having a drink of water, and was rather surprised when he then proceeded to enter the bathroom and go pee. Which struck me as a little weird. I can think of a few possible scenarios:

1) This individual was thirsty and had to go pee at the same time. It’s happened to me before, but I always choose to go pee first under those circumstances. I don’t really enjoy eating or drinking when I need to go to the bathroom.

2) This individual had to go pee, but on the way to the bathroom noticed the water fountain and was overcome with an intense desire to have a drink. Which is possible, but I know my own already mentioned lack of enjoyment of drinking while needing to pee would preclude this possibility.

3) This individual’s digestive track works extremely quickly, and he was simply peeing out the water which he drank at the fountain moments ago. Anything is possible I suppose.

Am I missing something or is this just weird? First you pee, then you drink – that’s the natural order of things. (Well, except for the whole deal of how drinking makes you need to go pee, but I’m talking about a timeframe of seconds here).

If you hadn’t heard, Chelsea Clinton is getting married. As the daughter of an ex President, she does things a little fancier than most of us, including renting some of the swankiest portable toilets around for her wedding. TMZ puts the total toilet rental cost at about $15,000 – ouch!

Now I’ve been in some nice portable toilets before, but I have a feeling they won’t be anything like the ones Chelsea’s guests will be enjoying.

Wells Cargo Platinum Edition

If postings have been a little sparse lately, it’s because we here at the ICBE have been spending part of our summer scouring the globe for noteworthy bathrooms. One such chance encounter occurred recently in the lovely city of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. In the hunt for a place for toddlers to play that wasn’t insanely busy and overcrowded (ie not the beach), we happened upon Chaldecott Park.

It was a lovely park with a lovely playground and a lovely sprayground and some positively not-at-all-lovely bathrooms. Aside from the fantastic stench, I was greeted with the following sight upon entering:

That’s right, in the year 2010 Chaldecott Park still features a bonafide trough urinal. Not only that, but the single toilet featured some rather curious signage:

DO NOT STAND ON TOILET – Thanks

As you may have expected I absolutely did not relieve myself in the trough, instead opting for the toilet pictured above. You will also be pleased to know that at no time was I even tempted to stand on the toilet, though evidently that’s a bit of a problem with the locals.

Here at the ICBE, we’re pretty passionate about the bathroom – or at least passionate about good bathroom behavior. So when we came across toiletdude7, it was as if we’d found a kindred spirit. The man is something of a YouTube toilet video legend, having recently posted his 200^th video review. From his YouTube profile page:

I’m a big toilet fan, have been one ever since I could remember. I’m not going to say all of my videos are perfect there may be a little no. 1 or toilet paper in the toilet, but NO no.2. I’ll try to put a couple videos a week on here. Gerber is my favorite brand, the older AquaSaver with the front flush is the best. Then, any open rimmed toilet like Artesian, URC, Mancesa, Crane, Universal Rundle, Briggs, American Stanard. Finally, the Gerber Ultraflush is the best pressurized toilet out there.

An image from Ice Challenge / Close Up

Rock on toiletdude7!

via Asylum

I have a confession – I don’t mind auto-dispensing soap dispensers, and I can live with auto-flush urinals. But we’ve said it before:

Auto-Flush Toilets are the Devil

Still not convinced? Check out this sign spotted in the wild by ICBE aficionado SM:

IF TOILET DOES NOT FLUSH AUTOMATICALLY,
PLEASE PRESS THE BLACK BUTTON
THANK YOU

Here’s what SM had to say:

Just let me flush it on my own in the first place, and we won’t have this issue. I can also pump my own soap.

Sing it sister!

You may have seen this image floating around in an email titled Contractor of the Year Nominees. It’s the kind of thing that sends chills down our spines (or occasionally icy fear into our hearts) here at the ICBE – disaster urinals.

What exactly was the person that designed this bathroom thinking? Were they 1 short of their urinal installation quota for the month? Do they simply not know how urinals work? Are they the evil arch-nemesis of the ICBE?

Thanks to Vfor the pic