Seat Up, Seat Down
We get asked this question all of the time:
Should I leave the seat up, or put the seat down?
Sometimes it’s at work, sometimes it’s at home, but our answer (with a few small exceptions) is always the same…
Leave the seat down!
Listen, this isn’t about logic, or statistics, or minimizing global effort or anything other than etiquette and doing what’s right. It’s right to leave the seat down, because women prefer it that way. It’s right to leave the seat down because it’s simply the nice thing to do. Oh, and you know how you say it’s so easy for women to put the seat down before they go? While it’s just as easy for men to put the seat down after they go. You get to pee while standing up. Women don’t, so grant them this one small courtesy!
But what about those exceptions I was talking about? While there’s really only one. If you live alone, and never entertain female company, go ahead and leave the seat up. Otherwise, be a real man and leave it down.
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The Columbia Chronicle
A few weeks ago, I was contacted by Brett Marlow over at the Columbia Chronicle. In case you don’t know, the Columbia Chronicle is the student newspaper over at Columbia College Chicago. Anyways, Brett was a pretty nice guy and we spoke over the phone several times about all the different facets of bathroom etiquette.
The really cool part though, was that rather than just putting together another run of the mill article, Brett and his team assembled a full center page spread that read just like a manual of bathroom etiquette, with some pretty awesome illustrations. Needless to say, I was impressed, and glad I took the time to do the interview.
The online version of the article doesn’t quite do the print version justice, but it’s still a fun read, which some great graphics. Check out the online version here
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Women’s Bathroom Issues II
The lovely Nicole C. (she must be lovely - she’s Canadian) wasn’t very impressed with the other page on women’s bathroom issues, so she submitted her own thoughts on the subject…
In as much as your team is composed exclusively of men, it is understandable that your section on women’s bathroom ettiquette left something to be desired. I found that your current section on women’s bathrooms is something of a mis-characterization of these extremely strange places. The idea that ALL women’s bathrooms are veritable sorority houses of female bonding and playfulness is patently false (though this author recognizes that, because she is Canadian, there may be cultural differences between women’s bathrooms in the U.S and Canada). Granted, unrestricted socializing, preening, and bonding with strangers may be permitted in public bathrooms found at nightclubs and bars, where large volumes of intoxicated, giggly young women tend to converge and paint themselves up like prostitutes before the mirrors. However, in the majority of women’s public bathrooms where alcohol is not a factor, social interactions (although not forbidden) are somewhat more restricted, and other etiquette details must be observed at all costs.
Here is some advanced information on the state of women’s bathroom etiquette:
#1: Talking/socializing in the bathroom: Talking in the women’s bathrooms is more tricky than one would initially believe, and it is goverened by a number of regulations. Talking to women who are currently in a stall, or talking WHILE one and one’s conversation partner are BOTH in stalls, should NOT be done unless both are very close friends. Talking to strangers or acquaintances while they are in the stalls is cause for extreme discomfort. Talking by the mirrors is permitted; however, occupants attempting to use the stalls often find this chatter unnerving, and so it should be kept to a respectful minimum when the bathroom has additional occupants, particularly strangers. In fact, strangers should not be engaged in or subjected to bathroom conversation of any sort unless they initiate it.
#2: It is totally unacceptable, under any circumstances, to use the women’s public bathroom to perform a #2 function unless that bathroom is confirmed to be COMPLETELY EMPTY. If one must perform this function in a public washroom (it is preferable to wait until you can secure a private bathroom), it is best to enter the stall furthest from the entrance and wait until all noises have completely ceased for about 20-30 seconds. Once empty, the function must be performed with maximum expediency, and the flush-in-progress and double flush techniques must both be used to eliminate any potential noise emissions, odour, or evidence that a #2 maneuvre has ever taken place. Always remember, WOMEN DO NOT POOP, FART, OR OTHERWISE PRODUCE UN-WOMANLY SMELLS OR SOUNDS. Anyone violating this gender-wide delusion risks ostracization by her peers. That being said, if one witnesses another woman breaking this rule, the VERY chivalrous thing to do is to graciously leave the area silently and immediately, whilst attempting to stifle one’s horrified giggling.
#3: Stall occupation rules in women’s bathrooms are very similar to the MPPNBA urinal regulations, UNLESS the person occupying the adjacent stall is one’s very close friend, and both have entered the bathroom together. Even in this case, choosing an adjacent stall should be done with extreme caution. Otherwise, one should always select a stall which is as far away from any other occupied stalls as possible. Choosing adjacent stalls is only acceptable if there are very few stalls available (3 or less), or if the bathroom is extremely crowded and line-ups are threatening to form.
#4: Applying make-up & hair products while talking loudly to a conversation partner is sometimes done, but often the person(s) doing so are unaware of exactly how much the occupants of the stalls hate her/them at that moment. Using the bathroom is not particularly easy or pleasant whilst in the presence of giggling little skanks who are noisily making fun of an unknown target. If one is at all concerned with etiquette and public image, one must not behave in this manner. Makeup and hair should be done at home or in the car, and the bathroom mirrors reserved for quick touch-ups ONLY. While performing said maintenance, be as quick as possible, attempt not to disturb the other occupants, and try to avoid loud, unnecessary chatter unless the bathroom is unoccupied (in which case you may proceed to chatter and apply makeup with impunity).
#5: If there is a “present” left in the toilet by a previous occupant, that stall is effectively treated as “out of order” until the janitor comes and solves the problem. One must not, under any circumstances, allow any other occupants of the bathroom spot her entering and/or using the affected stall. HOWEVER, if the bathroom in question is known to use infrared flush censors, one is permitted to heroically wave the stall door back and forth (while standing AT ALL TIMES on the outside of the stall) to initiate a flush, thereby eliminating the hostile presence.
#6: Stalls MUST be checked for adequate supplies of toilet paper before any functions are performed. A travel-pack of kleenex should be kept in the purse at all times to ensure an exit strategy if, for some reason, one should fail to check the supplies before committing to a function.
Now, these last two may be applicable to members of both genders, though I think should apply doubly for women:
#7: Cellular telephones should NOT be used in the bathroom, EVER. It may be easy to forget that use of a cellular telephone in a public bathroom is effectively a breach of the “telephone use while in bathroom” taboo, but it is still extremely offensive both to the other occupants of the bathroom and the person on the other end of the call. Text messaging is, however, permissible.
#8: If, for some strange, horrifying reason, the bathroom stalls do not have doors on them (this is almost unheard of in Canada), DO NOT USE THE BATHROOM. Drive home if you have to.
I hope this run-down proves helpful to the good folks at ICBE. I found your website to be most entertaining 
It is very helpful Nicole - thanks!
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Germany
I am told that some German toilets have a shelf inside the toilet. This may sound confusing, until I reveal that your poop lands on the shelf, and then you can get up and take a good look at it to make sure everything is A-okay with your innards. Really! The good news is that evidently not everybody has such a toilet. I wonder how much you can tell from taking a look at your craps? I heard a story once that Moby (a vegan), upon hearing of the distress of a carnivorous friend of his in a stall invited him over to his stall to take a look at what a “real crap looks like”. Again, really.
Update! Reader F.C. (who begs me not to post his real name or email address) comes to the rescue with an actual picture of a real, live German Shelf Toilet!
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Australia
The number one question about the Land Down-Under is whether or not the toilets really do flush in the opposite direction as in the northern hemisphere. Unfortunately none of our field testers have reported back on that so far.
One important difference though, according to lizard25 is that evidently many toilets have two buttons on the top for flushing - 1 for when you go pee, and 2 for when you go poo. No word on how they are labelled, but we imagine this is a water-saving mechanism that could be a good idea if implemented properly.
Update! Alert reader MageMLE has been able to confirm the existence of the two-buttoned flushing system, as well as provide a picture of the mechanism! The labelling is vague, at best I would say… half a flush vs. a full flush? She also reports that it’s commonplace to have “occupied” indicators on the outsides of stalls - at least in the women’s bathrooms. That’s got to save some embarassing moments.
Update! Astute readers from FilePile have informed me that these two-buttoned systems are common not only in Australia, but also New Zealand (kind of figures), Germany and the Netherlands! Those crazy Germans and their toilets keep getting wackier all the time…
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Japan
Anybody who has ever travelled to Japan will tell you that going to the bathroom there is nothing like going to be bathroom here in North America. Fearless ICBE International Liaison Daniel provides us with an actual picture of an actual Japanese bathroom with a kimono and a bajillion buttons. No, we don’t have a clue how it works!
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Iran
In our forums (sadly, now deceased), Ali_Emami writes that in Iran it is a matter of religion (he practices Islam) that men pee while sitting only, and not while standing. No word on if this is practiced in all branches of Islam, or is specific to Iranian culture only.
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England
From what I can tell, those Brits take to the bathroom pretty much like an American or Canadian does, but with an extra dash of homophobia thrown in for good measure (trust me on this one, I get lots of email). Not to mention that they are far more likely to call you a “wanker” than most people! Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing…
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Canada
Bathrooms in Canada are pretty much like bathrooms in the USA, with a couple of notable exceptions:
- The people are nicer
- They say “Eh” a lot
- The chances or running into a Mountie are substantially higher in Canada
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International Bathrooms
Most of the information we provide here at the ICBE will help you out no matter where you are in the world. However we know that being based in North America, we have a bias towards the particular customs and rules of etiquette observed in this part of the world. We also know that our readers are both living and traveling all across the globe, and want to know what to expect in their particular location.
Know anything about the bathroom etiquette in a country not already listed, or have any comments, additions or corrections about one that is? Please let us know!
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Special Situations
Funny situations have a habit of cropping up in life - especially when you need to go to the bathroom. At the game or just faced with an unusual toilet, this is the place to find out what to do.
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At Home, At Work
Whether you’re at home or at your neighbor’s, or even at work, we’ve got the right tips to keep you in line.
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Urinal Etiquette
Men’s urinal etiquette is a complex beast. So many urinals, so many choices, and so many errant paths to choose. Let us help you make the right decision when faced with the modern public bathroom.
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Six, Six, Pick up Sticks
A Whole Wad of Urinals
Now with six or more urinals, the rules are not so concrete. However, a few things must still be kept in mind.
Maintain a high MPPNBA. Choose end urinals when possible, and plan your entry to the urinal bank so that every second urinal is occupied. To employ only every third urinal is a waste, and often is accompanied by a small fine if caught.
Pee as far away from others as possible. If you enter into a washroom of 6 urinals, and someone is at an end urinal, then by all means proceed directly to the urinal at the opposite end. Maintain your distance at all times. However, in banks of 8 urinals are more, or when the gap between a urinal patron and the end of the bank is 7 urinals, it is appropriate to choose the second farthest away urinal. To choose the farthest urinal might imply to a sensitive individual that he smelt, or emitted a blinding light, or some other such condition, and might cause undue insult. Therefore, the second farthest urinal is selected in order to suggest that while you have a good grasp of urinal etiquette, in no way do you feel that the other individual is a grotesquely deformed monster.
There it is. That’s it. All you need to know. I hope you paid close attention, and will follow these simple rules for the betterment of urinalgoers everywhere!
- The Ideal Situation - Etiquette for One Urinal
- Two Urinal Tango - Etiquette for a Pair of Urinals
- Three’s Company - Faced with Three Urinals
- Just Four, Not More - Etiquette for Twice-Two Urinals
- Five, Five, Five - A Handful of Urinals
- Six, Six, Pick up Sticks - A Whole Wad of Urinals
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Five, Five, Five
A Handful of Urinals
Well, what about five urinals. This is starting to be a lot of urinals here, and so proper etiquette is even more important, as the potential for people in the washroom to view improper etiquette at work is steadily increasing. Now, however, in the case of an empty bank of urinals, the decision is going to reflect your personality. If you are relatively shy, or introverted, either of the end urinals is the appropriate choice. This shows your good knowledge of urinal etiquette, but in no way is flashy or showy. However, if you are bold and daring, you should choose the middle urinal. This immediately gains you command and authority over the entire urinal bank, while still maintaining the highest possible MPPNBA. Manners and power, and unbeatable combination.
Now, selection of a urinal remains simple if one or more are occupied. Pee if you can, if you can’t don’t. Don’t break any rules of etiquette, and make sure that others uphold them. However, because the number of urinals is increasing, it becomes increasingly difficult to assess the situation while still maintaining an entirely casual and matter of fact air. At this point, practice is essential. Use mirrors to scan the urinals, tie your shoe without ever taking your eyes off the urinals, etc. Of even greater concern though, is to appear all the time that you are not actually examining the urinals. Such actions could be misconstrued, and such misinterpretations must be avoided to maintain the proper bathroom decorum.
- The Ideal Situation - Etiquette for One Urinal
- Two Urinal Tango - Etiquette for a Pair of Urinals
- Three’s Company - Faced with Three Urinals
- Just Four, Not More - Etiquette for Twice-Two Urinals
- Five, Five, Five - A Handful of Urinals
- Six, Six, Pick up Sticks - A Whole Wad of Urinals
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Just Four, Not More
Etiquette for Twice-Two Urinals
Well with four urinals, the decisions start to really pile up. Even if all four urinals are empty upon your arrival, there is still a lot of thinking to do. Ideally, you should still choose a nice, clean smelling urinal at either one of the ends. However, certain extenuating circumstances have set precedence for the selection of one of the two inner urinals. The reason that this is acceptable is that the selection of an inner urinal does not decrease the potential M.P.P.N.B.A. (Maximum People Peeing Not Beside Anyone). Therefore, if, say, a large deposit of nuclear waste has located itself in BOTH of the end urinals, an inner urinal may be employed, preferably the one farthest away from the largest nuclear waste deposit.
What about if someone is already there? Well, much like the other situations, pee if you can without peeing beside anyone, and otherwise lapse into delay tactics or stall deceit strategy. In fact, because the MPPNBA’s are identical for three and four urinals, etiquette is greatly preserved across the platforms.
- The Ideal Situation - Etiquette for One Urinal
- Two Urinal Tango - Etiquette for a Pair of Urinals
- Three’s Company - Faced with Three Urinals
- Just Four, Not More - Etiquette for Twice-Two Urinals
- Five, Five, Five - A Handful of Urinals
- Six, Six, Pick up Sticks - A Whole Wad of Urinals
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Three’s Company
Faced with Three Urinals
Well then, what about three urinals. Well, this starts to get tricky. If you should come across three empty urinals, then the natural male tendency to attempt to accumulate power and property might lead you to try the middle urinal. Unfortunately, in some countries, to do so is punishable in manners unspeakable. For to choose the middle urinal is to deny any subsequent patron of the urinals the opportunity to pee in isolation while you are still at your business. To choose the middle of three urinals is to commit an act of pure, unadulterated selfishness, and for it one should be ashamed. Instead, one should immediately proceed the the end urinal which is furthest from the door, or alternatively, best smelling.
However, all three urinals are not always empty. If upon entering the bathroom you discern that the middle urinal alone is occupied, ever, you should immediately seek out the proper authorities to punish the culprit. Hopefully though, one of the end urinals is occupied. This allows one to proceed to the opposite urinal, and pee in relative security.
Further complications arise if two of the urinals are occupied. If they are the two end urinals, then one should proceed with delay tactics which were described earlier, especially nose scratching and armpit sniffing. Alternatively, a stall may be employed, being sure to use the deceitful tactics also mentioned earlier. It is possible that two adjacent urinals of the three be occupied. In this case, it is best just to leave. Hold your urge, and retreat. To stay is to share in the shame that must accompany any two individuals who are engaged in such an unseemly situation. Furthermore, if you are ever engaged in peeing at an end urinal, and someone enters the middle urinal with the intention of peeing, it is most definitely appropriate to ask him to leave. If he is unreceptive to your request, you might consider peeing on his leg.
Should all three urinals be occupied, upon entry to the bathroom, not only should you beat a hasty retreat, but you should also avert your eyes in order not to have the horrible sight of three adjacent occupied urinals forever ingrained into your mind.
- The Ideal Situation - Etiquette for One Urinal
- Two Urinal Tango - Etiquette for a Pair of Urinals
- Three’s Company - Faced with Three Urinals
- Just Four, Not More - Etiquette for Twice-Two Urinals
- Five, Five, Five - A Handful of Urinals
- Six, Six, Pick up Sticks - A Whole Wad of Urinals
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Two Urinal Tango
Etiquette for a Pair of Urinals
One urinal was easy. No tough decisions there. Two urinals, well, it’s a whole different world. With luck, they will both be empty. In this case, choose the appropriate urinal based on proximity to walls and other forms of shielding, and preferably as far away as possible from large sources of microwaves and free radicals.
Chances are though, that with two urinals one of them will be occupied. In this case under no circumstances should you proceed to the urinal. I repeat: DO NOT PROCEED. To proceed is to pee in one urinal adjoining another which is also occupied. This is the cardinal sin of urinal etiquette. Never pee beside someone. Instead, it is best to busy one’s self with activites mentioned under the Ideal Situation, with the possible exception of moonwalking, for which breakdancing should be substituted.
A question which becomes increasingly pressing at this point is the option of the stall. If the need is urgent (and it may well be), the stall may be considered. However, it is of utmost importance to make it appear as if the stall was the destination all along. This is why planning is necessary. If there is potential urination in the near future, one should always take these easy steps:
- Scout out the bathroom: Urinal number and location
- Map out a secondary stall acess route
- Practice casual-seeming scouting of urinal area
- Limber up for extensive periods of breakdancing
Planning is not all it takes though. Once in the stall, standing is no longer an option. To stand is to admit to all who peek for feet that you never had any intention of using a stall, but rather that your efforts at finding a suitable urinal were unfruitful. Sit and pee, and if at all possible, stay for an amount of time equal to that which you would normally take if the stall had been the appropriate initial choice, once again to suggest that you are not simply peeing in a stall. However, here we delve into the realm of stall etiquette, which is an entirely different field.
- The Ideal Situation - Etiquette for One Urinal
- Two Urinal Tango - Etiquette for a Pair of Urinals
- Three’s Company - Faced with Three Urinals
- Just Four, Not More - Etiquette for Twice-Two Urinals
- Five, Five, Five - A Handful of Urinals
- Six, Six, Pick up Sticks - A Whole Wad of Urinals
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The Ideal Situation
Etiquette for One Urinal
If you are lucky, and rarely is this the case, then you may be on the receiving end of what is only known as the “Ideal Situation.” This situation is, of course, the presence of one urinal. The etiquette here is simple: if it’s empty, pee, if it’s not, don’t. Period. Of course, a foray to the world of the public stall could be merited if the urinal is busy, but it is always preferable to busy one’s self with washroom related activity while waiting for the urinal to free up. Wash your hands, check your hair, check the floor for loose change, do the moonwalk, etc.
An important note: It is NOT considered proper etiquette to enquire to a peeing person if he is almost done. Nor is it seemly to attempt to peek in the urinal for activity. If you suspect the patron is merely standing around with his fly open, it is usually best just to keep those suspicions to yourself.
- The Ideal Situation - Etiquette for One Urinal
- Two Urinal Tango - Etiquette for a Pair of Urinals
- Three’s Company - Faced with Three Urinals
- Just Four, Not More - Etiquette for Twice-Two Urinals
- Five, Five, Five - A Handful of Urinals
- Six, Six, Pick up Sticks - A Whole Wad of Urinals
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General Urinal Etiquette
If you are lucky, and rarely is this the case, then you may be on the receiving end of what is only known as the “Ideal Situation.” This situation is, of course, the presence of one urinal. The etiquette here is simple: if it’s empty, pee, if it’s not, don’t. Period. Of course, a foray to the world of the public stall could be merited if the urinal is busy, but it is always preferable to busy one’s self with washroom related activity while waiting for the urinal to free up. Wash your hands, check your hair, check the floor for loose change, do the moonwalk, etc.
An important note: It is NOT considered proper etiquette to enquire to a peeing person if he is almost done. Nor is it seemly to attempt to peek in the urinal for activity. If you suspect the patron is merely standing around with his fly open, it is usually best just to keep those suspicions to yourself.
- The Ideal Situation - Etiquette for One Urinal
- Two Urinal Tango - Etiquette for a Pair of Urinals
- Three’s Company - Faced with Three Urinals
- Just Four, Not More - Etiquette for Twice-Two Urinals
- Five, Five, Five - A Handful of Urinals
- Six, Six, Pick up Sticks - A Whole Wad of Urinals
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Kiddie-Sized Urinals
It has been brought to my attention several times over the past months that there is a serious need for guidance on the subject of kiddie-sized urinals. You know the ones I’m talking about, the ones that look like they were accidentally installed for an elementary school, the ones that look like they might be useful if for some reason you were to pee out of your knee. This demand resulted in several months of research and experimentation, in which my colleagues and I were able to come up with a series of questions which are useful in handling the kiddie-sized urinal situation appropriately.
Q1: Does the part of your male anatomy most crucial for peeing actually locate itself completely above the kiddie-sized urinal?
A: If yes, please refrain from using the urinal. If no, proceed to question 2.
Q2: Do you have to bend down to flush the urinal?
A: If yes, please refrain from using the urinal. If no, proceed to question 3.
Q3: Are you unable to see the urinal due to the protrusion of your stomach?
A: If yes, please refrain from using the urinal. If no, proceed to question 4. (this might be a good rule of thumb for all urinals)
Q4: Would it be more comfortable for you to use the urinal standing on your knees?
A: If yes, please refrain from using the urinal. If no, you check out ok. Go ahead and use that urinal!
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Trough Urinals
Well, on the advice of several of my online colleagues in the urinalology field, we at the ICBE have conducted extensive research with respect to public washroom facilities which are equipped with the trough. We did not actually successfully locate such a washroom, but drawing upon past experience and some degree of random speculation, we did reach some startling conclusions.
As you may well know, troughs are very difficult to manage within the realm of proper urinal etiquette, as they are not technically urinals. Therefore, we have decided, that whenever possible, troughs should be avoided. (i.e. always). There was simply found to be no justifiable reason to pee in such a locale, and we therefore cannot condone such activity. In fact, it is entirely easier to justify peeing in the sink, since they do after all look just like funny little urinals on a bench, than it is to justify trough use.
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Urinals With Partitions
Several astute readers have noticed the lack of information on these pages with regards to those urinals which have partitions between them. Acting on this glaring oversight I have personally conducted extensive research in this area over the last several months, primarily consisting of using the bathroom in several different airports, which seem to employ the urinal partition quite heavily. Alas, there is no simple answer to the question as to whether urinal partitions allow you to pee beside someone without breaking etiquette. You see, unlike men, not all urinal partitions are created equally. So once again we have to bring in our own good judgement to the situation. How does that urinal partition make you feel. Does it make you feel safe and shielded? Is it actually big enough to afford any kind of protection? If yes, then it may well be acceptable to pee beside another. Sadly, in the vast majority of cases, the partitions have been woefully inadequate, and thus standard urinal rules apply.
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Women’s Bathroom Issues I
So you may have noticed something about the ICBE. And whether or not you have, we’re definitely going to tell you about it right now - the ICBE’s fulltime staff consists entirely of men. “AUGH!” you might say, but it’s really not as bad as it sounds. Because we all have our own offices, and naturally, we all practice very good bathroom etiquette. Thing is though, we really don’t know anything about women. Some of us are even married, some of us even have kids, but do you think we know a darn thing? Nada. So we’ve decided to start collecting reader tips* about bathroom etiquette for women, and posting them on this page.
*the ICBE accepts no responsibility if these tips suck!
And don’t forget to check out a rebuttal contribution by one of our readers!
“The (Toilet) Swan” Writes:
Some General Tips:
- Flush Flush Flush until all your friends are gone!
- If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie. (yeah, I stole it, but its still good)
- If you are the cause of a clog, and you KNOW if you are, kindly take it upon yourself to first, attempt to correct it; and secondly, report it!
- Wash your hands, that’s where disease comes from.
- It is polite to pull down paper towels for the other person in the restroom with you. This also invites them to wash their hands.
- Please inform your friends if they have tucked in their skirts, tissue hanging from their feet, or paratroopers hanging from their noses.
- Lastly, CHECK BEHIND YOU WHEN YOU’RE DONE.
(Mike’s Note: These sound like good tips for you men out there too! Possibly minus the skirts thing.)
Nantarina writes:
On Going to the Bathroom in Groups:
It is not only appropriate for women to go in groups (preferably holding hands and giggling), it is severely reprehensible for a girl to go alone. For men, perhaps, hanging around and chatting to other men in public lavatories is to frowned upon. For ladies, however, the “bathroom” is a centre for socialising excellence. On many occasions, the best part of my evening out has consisted of those minutes (or, when my lovely friend was very very sick, hours) spent near the mirrors chatting and complimenting and borrowing make-up. This space provides a valuable haven in which to be updated on everything as it happens, and voice a preferably bitchy opinion.
It is also a nice place to chat to obviously never-to-be-seen again people and characters and you can get quick sudden glimpses into the lives and usually-all-the-same dreams (- to find a rich handsome etc etc) of people who have lives a million miles from your own and who wear clothes you wouldn’t be seen dead in, but if you did, would look a whole lot fucking sexier on you. But to fully use these facilities, it is necessary to arrive accompanied, or you may create the wrong impression. Particularly if you’re in a gay bar.
What is wholly unacceptable, I think, is when a girl says she needs the loo and nobody claims to want to go too. SERIOUSLY POOR ETIQUETTE! Consider your sisters!!!
(Apart from anything else, there are often shockingly long and boring queues)
On Talking Acros Stall Walls:
It depends on the significance and brilliance of the topic. Will random strangers overhearing you be fascinated or bored? This is the golden rule.
On the lack of a Proper Receptacle for Feminine “Products”:
Urgh. Nasty topic. Not to be spoken about in public, darling. REALLY!
Well, if you insist… I always carry scented and sealable, disposable and discreet little bags in my handbag, with which to convey the said products to the nearest, to use your charming phrase (though with discreetly corrected spelling) appropriate receptacle. Sort of.
On Crouching vs. Sitting:
Why, quite obviously this depends on the location. Personally I avoid contact with any public seat, including those in student houses. Many years ago, I visited a lavatory where there were loo-seat-shaped-paper dispensers next to the tp dispensers. They didn’t really fit the seat perfectly, but I was nonetheless impressed. It can only have been in France, I am sure, that blessed centre of sophistication.
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Email in the Bathroom
So before I say anything on the matter, I should probably make a confession - I have been known to do email while on the toilet. It’s not my favorite place to do email, but it has happened. I even publicly admitted to this in the Wall Street Journal. Now I blame this mostly on the fact that I simply do not have enough magazine subscriptions to keep me occupied, since frankly I’d rather be reading a magazine, but I guess that’s somewhat beside the point. Turns out though, I’m not alone. A recent survey (I love surveys, you can make they say anything you want if you put your mind to it), showed that 15% of people check their email in the can. So let’s all just admit it’s happening, and come up with some guidelines for it.
Choice of Device
Think about this one for a minute. Not all email devices are the same, you’ve got your laptops, your Blackberry’s, your cell phones, your PDAs, and probably a few other things I’ve forgotten in my old age. Of all these, the laptop is the trickiest since it’s the biggest. You might be able to pull this one off in your own home, where you have a clean surface to put the laptop on, but for god’s sake leave it out of the public bathroom. At some point you’re going to have to put it down, and you do not want to be putting it on the floor. Nothing should ever touch the floor of a public bathroom besides the soles of your shoes. The rest are pretty much pocketable, so you should be able to get at them and stow them away with little difficulty.
Think About What You are Touching
I mean really think about it. Everything that you touch with your hands is a source of possible contamination - especially out in public where you have no idea what filthy bastards have been using the bathroom before you. So if you touch something, and then touch your Blackberry, you are pretty much coating that Blackberry with feces. Really. And that’s pretty gross when you think about it.
Think About if You Really Need to
How long are you really going to be on the crapper? Is the world really going to end if you don’t check your email in the next 4 minutes? Probably not, so you should probably just think about some nice things you could do for your wife or husband or mother instead. Spend some quality time with your brain, and remember how much you’ve missed it. Then again, there are those occasions where we hunker down for a good 15 minutes to get some serious evacuation done. This is the time you might want to whip out that PDA.
What will Others Think?
If you aren’t the boss, you might want to think about what the boss will think when he catches you checking your email in the can with the company’s hardware. Let’s face it, you aren’t being as quiet as you think you are, and any boss worth a damn can recognize all of his employees by his shoes. Okay, I just made that last bit up, but it’s still worth thinking about. Especially when you wonder why your boss puts on rubber gloves every time he comes over to your desk.
Some Final Thoughts
If you’ve made it this far, you’ve probably come to the same conclusions I have. Email in the bathroom can be okay once in awhile, but don’t make it a habit. And try to keep it to the home, where at least you have some idea of what you are getting yourself into.
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Talking in the Bathroom
Usually, talking at a urinal situation is frowned upon. Conversation may occur directly prior to urinal use, or directly after it, but while engaged at the urinal, verbal communication should be nil. Furthermore, actual conversation may only occur between two individuals who entered the washroom together. Under no circumstances should you start a conversation with someone whom you simply discovered to be in the bathroom when you arrive. A simple grunt or monosyllabic word is acceptable to acknowledge the other’s existence, but that is all. Period.
Now if you are a woman, you can probably ignore all that. You are taking so long in there we know you can’t possibly *just* be going to the bathroom, so you must be talking with the other 7 girls that went in there with you. Frankly we haven’t got a clue what happens in there.
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Stalls Without Walls
I would like to draw attention to an item sent to me by alert websurfer Rich Donato. In a shocking and distressing email message he detailed to me the existence of bathrooms which were equipped with full fledged toilets, but no partitioning walls! Yes, you read correctly, stalls without walls! I implore any of you who have heard of or experienced such things to send me your experiences! In terms of etiquette, all I can say is to avoid these places at all cost. Plan ahead, hold, sew up your colon, but for God’s sake man don’t go! Sorry, I got a little carried away there.
In all seriousness, I’ve had a lot of reports from guys in the military who have to use facilities like this (or worse) on a regular basis. All I can say is thanks for putting up with one more thing in order to defend your country, be it Canada, the USA or wherever you are from.
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Hanging the Toilet Paper
One of the first questions many people ask is which is the best way to hang the toilet paper; over the top or hanging from behind. Each method has it’s own merits, and I used to try to endorse one of them, but frankly it led to way too many fights, and the dental bills were really starting to pile up. Just go with whatever your wife (or whatever) tells you to. Trust me on that one. And if you are single, why are you asking me? Hang it whichever damn way you please, until somebody you are trying to impress (or much, much bigger than you) tells you to hang it the other way.
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Which Sink to use
One of the most crucial things that you need to do when you use a bathroom is to remember to wash your hands (some of us seem to have more problems in this area than others but this is not the place to name names). At home this is a simple task, because you usually have one, or at most two sinks, but the situation is often much more complicated in the wild where you have a myriad of sinks to choose from.
If the sinks are on the same wall as the urinals:
Try to choose a sink which is far away from the nearest urinal. Just like someone peeing doesn’t want someone else to pee beside him, they also don’t want someone to wash their hands beside them. And even if the urinals are empty, do you really want to wash your hands right beside that stinky urinal? I used to go to school at the University of Alberta, where they had this one urinal which was like three millimetres away from a sink. And which urinal did half the bozos insist on using all the time? And why did people still use the sink right beside that peeing guy? Don’t tell me we don’t need websites like this one!
If the sinks are on a separate wall from the urinals:
Try to choose one that’s away from high traffic areas like the garbage or towel dispensers/hot air blowers. Otherwise you just end up bumping elbows with people who are trying to use these devices.
And of course try to find one which is clean:-)
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Halftime at the Game
We’ve all been there before. You’re at the game, you need to go pee, and damned if you’re going to the bathroom during the action. So what does that leave you? Halftime (or intermission or whatever). And halftime is not a good place to be when you want to follow decent etiquette, not when 1000’s of people all want to use the bathroom at the same time and there are lines at the urinals 20 fans deep. Take my advice, and use a stall; you’ll be happy you did. And if for some reason that doesn’t fit your needs, you should read the discussion on what to do if you need to pee really badly.
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You Have to Pee Really Badly
One of the questions I get asked most often is “what if I have to pee really badly, what should I do?” It’s usually asked in the context of all the stalls being full, and only the middle urinal of three being open. Of course, my first answer is always to just wait. This usually leads to the “what if I’m about to wet my pants”, or “what if I’m about to get severe kidney failure”. What we need to remember here is that not peeing in your pants is the first step to good urinal etiquette. So for god’s sake if you are about to wet yourself, well I guess you’d better go. These aren’t laws, and nobody’s going to shoot you - but they might if they see a big wet spot in your crotch!
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East Coast vs. West Coast
You know how there’s that whole East Coast vs. West Coast Rap Rivalry thing going on? Well the other day my brother asks me “What can I write for the ICBE?” We get asked that question a lot, as you might expect. Well my brother lived in San Diego for say, a long time, and now he’s over somewhere on that other coast, so I figured he was just the man to explore the analogous rivalry in Bathroom Etiquette. Or so I thought
Well the long and the short of it is, he’s stopped returning my calls. I figure there are two possible explanations: 1) There is no coastal rivalry in Bathroom Etiquette, and he’s decided to go find himself a new brother (very likely). 2) There is a bitter rivalry, and in fact his investigations have gotten him swept up into the underground world of Bathroom Etiquette, and he dare not contact me lest he be exposed and thus, well, yelled at (somewhat likely).
So really, I have no idea what’s going on with this whole thing.
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Masturbating in the Bathroom
Let me lay this one out for you guys plain and simple - stop masturbating in public bathrooms. Masturbating is fine when you do it at home. It’s not fine at the office or the movie theatre or the shopping mall or wherever else you might decide you want to get your jollies.
And no, please don’t tell me that those one person bathrooms are the perfect place to masturbate - they aren’t. They’re the perfect place to go to the bathroom in peace and quiet. And please don’t tell me that you just couldn’t control yourself after you saw that really hot chick - get a grip on your libido, not your member.
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Those One Person Bathrooms
Every once in a while, one stumbles across the ultimate in bathroom experiences - the personal bathroom. You know, the one where you walk in, lock the door, and have all the amenities at your disposal. No one to stand beside you. No one to sit in the next stall. No one to wait impatiently behind you as you wash your hands. Unfortunately, paradise isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.
Issue: Un-flushed remains. Just as you meander to the bowl - ohmigod - what the heck did THAT person have for dinner?
Etiquette: Flush, dammit. Oh, maybe you don’t want to touch the handle for fear of germs. Well use your foot. Grab a piece of paper towel. Whatever! But you HAVE to flush. There are no excuses. Maybe twice for some of you. At any rate, when you leave that room, please leave the bowl in pristine condition for the next customer.
Issue: The attempted entry. You know this one. You are relaxing, trying to have all the right muscles relax and contract in the best possible combination, when, out of nowhere, some idiot wants to get in. And not with a polite knock. Nope, he rams his shoulder right into the door, like he is on COPS, desperate for entry. And then, not satisfied that the room may actually be occupied, he jiggles the knob back and forth. No amount of “occupied” or “just a minute” stops this guy. And of course, by this time your sphincter is so taut that you’ll be lucky to have a movement in the same week.
Etiquette: Please knock. And wait. Give the “potential user” more than a millionth of a second to announce his presence before attempting entry. And then back off. Don’t scuttle outside the door, pacing, kicking up dust, and causing a nuisance. Your time will come. Just hope that your predecessor follows etiquette rule #1 above.
Issue: The interrupted exit. Hopefully you’ve avoided the attempted entry, you’ve had a good experience, the bowl is flushed, your hands are washed, and you are ready to go back about your business in a solemn and private manner. And you open the door and run head-long into someone loitering immediately outside the door.
Etiquette: Remember, a bathroom is like an elevator. Let the people out first. Give them some space. Don’t get inside their “bubble”. Preferably allow them to leave quietly and respectfully. No calls of “who died in there?” or “about time!”. Take a deep breath, hold it, and make your entry - its your own fault that you are second into the room.
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Workplace Bathroom Etiquette
Rule the First: No Business in the Bathroom
That’s right, you heard it here. Do not, under any circumstances, be you man or woman, conduct any business in the bathroom. At best, participants will be distracted. More likely, they will be so busy trying to ignore you and focus on the task at hand that it’s an awkward waste of time. At worst, you are going to offend some client and blow that multi-million dollar deal. So leave the business to the boardroom and/or golf course.
Rule the Second: Wash Your Hands
You know what’s worse than seeing some stranger in a public bathroom leave without washing their hands? Seeing somebody you work with do the same. Because now you get to spend the whole day wondering what they are touching with their filthy, disgusting, germ-ridden hands, and hoping it’s not on your desk. I really don’t know why we have to keep talking about this rule, but given the number of socially inept non-washers I see in my field research on a day-to-day basis people still aren’t getting the message.
Rule the Third: Don’t Lie in Wait
Okay, so you need to do a #2. In some cases, you might stand around a full bathroom waiting for a stall to open up, but at work you shouldn’t. Nobody likes to feel pressured, so give your coworkers some space, go back to your desk, and try again later (or try another bathroom). Even if the person currently doing their business isn’t aware of your presence, they are still going to feel awkward when they come out of the stall and realize you’ve been timing just how long they’ve been in there. So save them the embarrassment.
Rule the Fourth: Everyone is Equal in the Eyes of the Bathroom
So you’re the boss. Maybe you’re even the boss’ boss. Doesn’t matter a whit in the bathroom, you’ve still got to follow the rules. Don’t start up any business, don’t expect to cut to the head of any lines, and for goodness sakes yes you do have to wash your hands or flush. Being numero uno doesn’t give you any special privileges whatsoever.
Rule the Fifth: Keep Down the Stink
Your bathroom at home probably has a fan, and I bet you put it to good use. Your bathroom at work probably doesn’t though, which means that everybody else in there with you and after you can smell what’s going on. If you think it might be an especially stinky trip, consider a courtesy flush. People will thank you.
Special Tip: Dealing with those who Outrank you
Maybe your boss was clever, came here, read these rules and is acting like he should in the bathroom. Then again, maybe he’s not. Maybe he keeps trying to strike up a conversation with you at the urinal, while all your instincts tell you to stare straight ahead and ignore them. We feel the need to warn you that following proper bathroom etiquette rules in the context of such an ignorant boss may jeopardize your job, or at least your standing. Yeah, it sucks but the boss might not care if you are ignoring him because you are in the middle of taking a pee, all he knows is you are ignoring him. So try to strike a healthy balance, don’t tell him to “piss off!” (clever pun!), but don’t linger and chat either.
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Etiquette at Someone Else’s House
We were recently featured in a spot on ABC Radio Australia where the subject of the day was whether or not you could use the toiletries when you visited somebody else and took a shower on their place. In response to that we’ve crafted a series of guidelines about peeing, pooping and showering when you are a guest in somebody else’s home, many of which are shared from rules around your own home.
Use the Fan
Not all bathrooms have fans, and that’s too bad. But if the bathroom does have a fan, you should probably be using it - especially for #2. Not only is it going to help with the smell, but it’s going to cover up all those lovely noises that have a tendency to emanate from the bathroom under the most opportune of circumstances. Heck, it’s even good to help prevent mold and mildew, and I think everyone can agree that’s a good thing.
Clean Up After Yourself
If you can’t aim wipe the seat. Then wipe the floor, because that’s gross too. Take a kleenex and wipe the sink area down if you made a mess there, and make sure you didn’t leave a wad of hair clinging anywhere. You don’t want your guests to leave your bathroom dirty, so don’t do it to them.
Be Mindful of Towels
Hopefully there is a hand towel which is clearly designated for general use, and this is the towel you should be using to dry your hands. If there is no obvious towel, consider some kleenex, or maybe your socks/pockets to get the drying done. Don’t be afraid to shake and airdry a bit too. If you are going to be showering and don’t have your own towel you should definitely ask about the situation beforehand. Nobody wants to share their towel with you!
Be Mindful of Toiletries
It is expected that you will be using the handsoap in the sink to wash your hands, be it liquid soap or a bar. If all you are doing is going pee or doing a #2, then this is all the toiletries you should be helping yourself too. If you are showering though, things are a little different. Generally, any toiletries inside the shower that are contained in a bottle are fair game. This is stuff like shampoo, conditioner, facewash and liquid soap. Don’t be wasteful, and use just as much as you need. You might use the soap if you are very good friends with the host, but be careful where you stick it (avoid the ass and crotch, lather up your hand for that), and for god’s sake don’t leave any hairs on the soap! If you leave any hair, you might as well go pee all over the seat too because you aren’t going to be welcome back in that house. Outside the shower, toothpaste is probably fair game, but you’d better have your own toothbrush. Hair products like gel are fine, but don’t go using their deodorant unless it’s spray on. And when in doubt, just ask.
The Host has Some Responsibility
If you are hosting somebody in your house, you have the responsibility to help them act the way you want them to. Make hand towels and hand soap readily available. And if they are showering, be up front about your towel and toiletry expectations. A little communication goes a long way.
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Bathroom Etiquette at Home
The ICBE focusses on etiquette for the public bathroom because the rules are the trickiest there, and frankly what you do in your own home is largely your own business. However, most of us don’t live alone and so there are some rules of etiquette that you should be following at home. Note that many of these rules will apply if you are a guest in someone else’s home as well.
If you live alone, and have no guests, do what you want
Yes, you read that right. If you live alone, and if you never have any guests at all (sorry to hear that), then go ahead and do whatever the heck you please. I mean really, etiquette isn’t about you, it’s about other people, so if there are no other people there is no etiquette!
Leave the damn seat down
Yes, you heard me correctly. Stop being lazy men, and put the darn seat back down. Really, is it so hard to do something thoughtful for the women in your life? How would you feel if you sat down directly into the toilet bowl one day? Not so hot eh? (End confrontational tone) There have been studies done which show that the most efficient thing to do is simply to leave the seat in whatever position it was when you finished up, but this is one of those cases where we think women need a break.
Learn to Aim
We realize that it’s not always easy to hit the toilet bowl (actually that’s not true, we just made that up to make you feel better). But just because you missed and peed all over the seat and floor, doesn’t mean you should leave your work on display for all to see. Wipe that pee up! This goes for public bathrooms too, there’s no excuse to leave a trail of piss behind anywhere.
Close the Door
Unless you and everybody else you live with agree that it’s okay to use the toilet with the door open, you should probably close it. Your husband or wife might not mind so much if you are doing a #1, but your roomates probably will. And nobody wants to watch you poop - trust me.
Don’t Pee in the Shower
Of course if the first rule applies you are free to pee anywhere you want, though we are always surprised that people enjoy standing in a pool of their own urine. Chances are though somebody else is going to use your shower sometime, and we really don’t think they are going to want to have anything to do with your pee. Go to the bathroom before you get in the shower, and save us all from being grossed out.
Use the Fan
Not all bathrooms have fans, and that’s too bad. But if the bathroom does have a fan, you should probably be using it - especially for #2. Not only is it going to help with the smell, but it’s going to cover up all those lovely noises that have a tendency to emanate from the bathroom under the most opportune of circumstances. Heck, it’s even good to help prevent mold and mildew, and I think everyone can agree that’s a good thing.
Replace the Toilet Paper
Go to the bathroom often enough, and sooner or later you are going to be the one that finishes the roll. Don’t just leave the empty roll dangling there, replace it! You don’t want to get halfway through a #2 only to spot an empty roll, and neither does anybody else. Oh, and don’t pretend that two squares left counts either. That’s just stupid.
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F.A.Q.
Why did you create the ICBE?
During my frequent forays into public bathrooms I have noticed a stunning disregard for common courtesy and etiquette. It is clear that an organization such at the ICBE is needed to educate people about bathroom etiquette. Not to mention I had some free time one day.
Are you mental?
Possibly
Do you have a small penis?
(No, seriously, I get this one a lot) None of your business.
Can I have the 5 minutes I just wasted reading your site back?
No
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The “Design our Banner” Contest
You see that banner up there, the close up of the urinals? It’s okay and all, but we’d love to have something better. So we’re soliciting you, our readers, to design a new one! We’re looking for bathroom/toilet-related themes, and it could be anything from original artwork to photographs of cool bathrooms. We would especially love anything that captures the international aims of our site, but how you do so is up to you.
Of course we’re not looking to get something without giving a little something in return. So in celebration of our grand site redesign, this is the first ever ICBE-sponsored contest!
Rules:
- Images must be 935 pixels wide, or look good when shrunk to that width
- Images should be approximately 150 pixels high, and may be subject to cropping. Shorter is fine if it still looks good, and we’ll consider taller (up to 200 pixels or so) if it’s a really great piece
- JPG or PNG format are preferred
- Images must be free of copyright, or you must own the copyright yourself and grant the ICBE full rights to use the image on our site
- The winner (as determined by the ICBE) gets a nifty ICBE t-shirt, just like the one pictured below! Approximate retail value $9.99 USD
- The ICBE reserves the right not to declare a winner in the event that no suitable entries are received
- Deadline for Entries: March 31st, 2008, subject to change based on number of entries received (ie we will push the date back if we don’t get enough entries).
Submit an entry!
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106.9 Free FM San Francisco
Another last minute radio interview today, this time over at 106.9 Free FM in San Francisco. This is actually right in my neck of the woods, but just far enough away that the reception was spotty in ICBE headquarters so I didn’t task anybody to listen to the show. I appeared on the Darian O’Toole Show, and generally a good time. Drop me a line if you happened to catch it. Key fact: Darian has trouble going pee in public bathrooms! I sympathize with that.
Thursday, October 27th, 2005 - Noonish
More
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ABC Radio Australia
So I’m getting ready for a BBQ yesterday, and who do I get a call from but Claire Gorman at ABC Radio Australia, Local 666 Canberra. Most people might be rather surprised at this, but as President of the ICBE this kind of thing happens all the time (not really, but it does happen). Anyways, turns out they had a feature over the weekend in the Sydney Morning Herald known as Modern Guru, where they field questions and provide humourous answers. The question was whether or not you are allowed to use the toiletries when you shower at somebody else’s house. The radio station picked up on this and wanted to do a segment, and came to me for the “expert opinion”!
The show was broadcast on Monday, July 11th, 2005 in Australia, at about 10:30 am, putting me at Sunday, July 10th at about 5:30 pm here in California, a 17 hour difference.
The writeup on the station’s website, along with links to the audio portion of the interview
A followup article with some nice quotes by the ICBE
But what I really want to know, is why do they keep referring to the ICBE as a “rather silly website“?! We are sooooooo serious!
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The Standard, from St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada
It might not carry quite the same reputation as the Wall Street Journal, but The Standard, published in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada is a fine publication nonetheless. I saw this of course largely because I am biased - biased because I am Canadian myself, and biased because they wanted to interview me. If a desire to interview the ICBE isn’t indicative of impeccable taste, I don’t know what is!
Anyways, the article was by Erik White, appeared in the November 18th, 2004 issue and discussed the imminent opening of a pizza/games type of place called Kahunahaville, for which I am strangely unable to locate a webpage. Now the reason the ICBE’s expertise was required is that the place was going to feature unisex bathrooms. As is my tradition, I’ll reprint the exciting parts of the article below, and by exciting I mean parts which feature me!
But Michael Sykes, founder of the International Centre for Bathroom Etiquette, isn’t too sure about that. He thinks the mixing of the genders will make the washroom a very social space and fears those exiting the stalls might get lost in the mingling on their way to the soap dispenser. (Note: by which I mean to say forget to wash their hands!)
A biophysics graduate student at California’s Stanford University, Sykes said “classical male discussions of urinal etiquette” and “an abundance of free time” gave birth to the centre, which only exists on the Internet at www.icbe.org. The Edmonton native said he can’t recall the unisex situation coming up in nine years of online discussions, but suggested visitors tread lightly at first
He said an unspoken code of conduct will likely develop on its own over time, but believes hitting on someone in the bathroom will be an immediate faux pas. He also figures the etiquette rules will be specific to the crowd that chooses the unisex washroom, possibly a more open-minded group than those who go to traditional loos. (Note: Kahunaville features traditional bathrooms in an adjoining area)
Sykes predicts the public area of the washroom will come to feel like another part of the bar that just happens to have sinks. “I think you’ll see people leave the unisex bathroom and go to the regular bathroom to actually go to the bathroom,” he said.
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The Wall Street Journal Online
This may shock some of you. And it may appall others. But the ICBE, via our illustrious President, was recently featured in the Wall Street Journal Online Edition. Now by recently I mean February 11th, 2004, so take pretty much anything I saw with a grain of salt. I didn’t get paid a dime, but it was a lot of fun, and well the ICBE will pretty much grant anybody and/or their dog an interview if they ask nicely enough.
The article dealt with the spread of email throughout the house, including to the bathroom. I’m not allowed to print the whole article here, but I’ve copied some of the juicier tidbits below! By juicier, I naturally mean all the parts that involve me.
Michael Sykes, who runs a Web site on public restroom etiquette, agrees on the appropriateness of laptop use. He says he uses his laptop in his home bathroom about once a month when he doesn’t have reading material on hand, but never plans to use it in a public restroom.
“First of all, public bathrooms are usually not so nice,” says the 27-year-old biophysics graduate student at Stanford University. “Second, due to the mechanics involved it’s often useful to be able to put down the laptop, which is something that I would never want to do in a public bathroom.”
Good stuff! The article was by Jennifer Saranow, so go give her a hug. On, and that web site she mentions (sadly not by name) - you’re reading it
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Contact Us
Please email us at the following address:
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Awards We’ve Won
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Our Staff
Dr. Michael Sykes - President and Founder
Dr. Sykes received his B. Sc. in 1998 from the University of Alberta and his Ph. D. in 2006 from Stanford University. Sadly, both degrees were in fields unrelated to the bathroom sciences. He founded the ICBE in 1995 after discussions with some of his friends made him realize that there was a great need for education in the field of bathroom etiquette. He currently resides with his family in San Diego, CA.
Dr. Sykes’ identity has been obscured in this photograph to confound the paparazzi.
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Acknowledgements
A very special thanks to James Day and Patrick Lusk, who helped inspire this page once upon a time.
Thanks to Brad Torgerson for the lovely urinal gif which we used to use.
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Welcome to the ICBE
Our mission here at the International Center for Bathroom Etiquette is to improve the bathroom going experience for everyone by educating people about proper bathroom etiquette. Every day across the world millions of people are unsatisfied with the way their trip to the bathroom turned out, and we believe that it doesn’t have to be that way.
The “Design our Banner” Contest
You see that banner up there, the close up of the urinals? It’s okay and all, but we’d love to have something better… See full details here
Urinal Etiquette
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At Home, at Work
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Special Situations
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International Bathrooms
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Like the new site design? Let us know!
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General Information
Founded in 1995 by Dr. Michael Sykes, the International Center for Bathroom Etiquette initially focused on the particular challenges that men face when selecting the proper urinal in a public bathroom. Since then the scope of the Center’s work has expanded to include all aspects of bathroom etiquette at home, at work and in public. Currently headquartered in the United States, the bulk of the ICBE’s research is aimed at etiquette in a North American culture. While much of this etiquette is global, we recognize that cultures vary greatly across the globe, and are constantly in search of information about international customs and bathroom practices.
The mission of the ICBE is to improve the bathroom going experience for everyone by educating people about proper bathroom etiquette. Every day across the world millions of people are unsatisfied with the way their trip to the bathroom turned out, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
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Home
Home - this is a test
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