Six-Six, Pick up Sticks

Etiquette for a Scad of Urinals (Yes, a Scad)

Performing #1 and #2 in comfort and style since 1995 — The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette
Performing #1 and #2 in comfort and style since 1995
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Now with six or more urinals, the rules are not so concrete. However, a few things must still be kept in mind.

Maintain a high MPPNBA. Choose end urinals when possible, and plan your entry to the urinal bank so that every second urinal is occupied. To employ only every third urinal is a waste, and often is accompanied by a small fine if caught.

Pee as far away from others as possible. If you enter into a washroom of 6 urinals, and someone is at an end urinal, then by all means proceed directly to the urinal at the opposite end. Maintain your distance at all times. However, in banks of 8 urinals are more, or when the gap between a urinal patron and the end of the bank is 7 urinals, it is appropriate to choose the second farthest away urinal. To choose the farthest urinal might imply to a sensitive individual that he smelt, or emitted a blinding light, or some other such condition, and might cause undue insult. Therefore, the second farthest urinal is selected in order to suggest that while you have a good grasp of urinal etiquette, in no way do you feel that the other individual is a grotesquely deformed monster.

There it is. That's it. All you need to know. I hope you paid close attention, and will follow these simple rules for the betterment of urinalgoers everywhere!

  1. The Ideal Situation
  2. Two Urinal Tango
  3. Three's Company
  4. Just Four, Not More
  5. Five, Five, Five
  6. Six-Six, Pick up Sticks

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