Five, Five, Five
A Handful of Urinals
Well, what about five urinals. This is starting to be a lot of urinals here, and so proper etiquette is even more important, as the potential for people in the washroom to view improper etiquette at work is steadily increasing. Now, however, in the case of an empty bank of urinals, the decision is going to reflect your personality. If you are relatively shy, or introverted, either of the end urinals is the appropriate choice. This shows your good knowledge of urinal etiquette, but in no way is flashy or showy. However, if you are bold and daring, you should choose the middle urinal. This immediately gains you command and authority over the entire urinal bank, while still maintaining the highest possible MPPNBA. Manners and power, and unbeatable combination.
Now, selection of a urinal remains simple if one or more are occupied. Pee if you can, if you can’t don’t. Don’t break any rules of etiquette, and make sure that others uphold them. However, because the number of urinals is increasing, it becomes increasingly difficult to assess the situation while still maintaining an entirely casual and matter of fact air. At this point, practice is essential. Use mirrors to scan the urinals, tie your shoe without ever taking your eyes off the urinals, etc. Of even greater concern though, is to appear all the time that you are not actually examining the urinals. Such actions could be misconstrued, and such misinterpretations must be avoided to maintain the proper bathroom decorum.
Dennis makes a good point about entering a bathroom to find only the 2nd or 4th urinal occupied – horrors! Don’t perpetuate this awful situation by taking the 4th or 2nd urinal yourself – make sure to take the urinal farthest away from the cretin flouting the rules of bathroom etiquette. That way, should they finish promptly, the urinal bank will be returned to an acceptable state.
