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Category — Reader Mail

ICBE Membership?

Robin writes the following:

Is there an ICBE membership club? I would like to become a proud member of the ICBE. If so, how do I join? If not, why isn’t there?

That’s a good question Robin. If you’re a member of Facebook, you can become a fan of the ICBE on that site, just head on over to our fan page. Aside from that though, there isn’t really an official way to join the ICBE. There’s no good reason, it’s just something we haven’t gotten around to yet, but it’s certainly something we’re considering for the future.

In the meantime, if you’d like to display your love for the ICBE, I suggest buying one of our lovely shirts!

October 13, 2009   No Comments

Washing Your Feet in the Bathroom Sink

A concerned reader writes the following:

I work for a large corporation that you’ve heard of — it need not be mentioned. We have a tremendous amount of people here from all over the world; in fact, it’s almost like the United Nations in a way but that’s not where I am at all. Anyway, for those here of a certain religious faith, it’s necessary for them to wash their feet prior to afternoon prayer. So, in the very sink I wash my hands in and brush my teeth in after lunch, I commonly see guys in there with their legs up in quite a gymnastic pose so that their bare feet can get under the running faucet. So, we have the hole freedom of religion thing, tolerance, political correctness, and all that bullshit … but hey …. c’mon…. isn’t this a bit much?

I have to admit – I’ve never seen somebody wash their feet in the bathroom sink at work, and if I did it might be a little weird. Still, weird isn’t the same thing as bad etiquette. Honestly, unless foot washers are making a big mess (and I can easily imagine they would just based on how physically awkward the action must be) and not cleaning it up, I don’t have a problem with this.

Tolerance of religious customs is good etiquette, and if a little foot washing is all we have to put up with, what’s the big deal? But the feet are dirty you might say? Not those feet, they’re getting washed all the time! And are sweaty feet really any more dirty or gross than hands that have just finished wiping a poopy bum?

I didn’t think so.

Now all that said, a dedicated foot washer sounds like it would help everybody else. Time to get one installed!

October 10, 2009   5 Comments

What Goes in the Bathroom, Stays in the Bathroom

Concerned reader Teresa writes the following:

The women in my office have asked the men to discontinue taking the community newspaper into the restroom. It is hitting the men’s room about five+ times/day. We do not feel comfortable reading the paper when it returns into the office.

Any advice on proper newspaper-bathroom etiquette?

Have you ever heard the saying What goes in Vegas, stays in Vegas? Well, it’s the same thing with the newspaper. Once that newspaper hits the bathroom, it should never leave the bathroom again, except maybe on a nonstop trip to the recycling bin.

If you want to take a book or a magazine to the bathroom at home, fine. If you want to bring in your own book to read on the toilet at work, fine. But public, communal or shared reading material stays out of the bathroom.

And one more thing – don’t put the newspaper on the floor to read it! I know the newspaper is big and awkward, but public bathroom floors are disgusting. Once that newspaper hits the floor nothing short of a hazmat suit should be used to pick it up again. So whatever you do don’t put it on the floor, then pick it up and put it on a shelf like nothing ever happened. Yuck.

October 9, 2009   1 Comment

It’s a Bathroom – Not a Fartroom

A lovely reader writes the following:

It’s been a running joke between myself and friends of mine when it comes to people who are standing near you at a urinal and feel it’s perfectly fine to fart because they’re in the bathroom. My feeling on this is that if you need to fart, take it to a stall where there’s a partitioning wall between you and the fumes coming out of your ass. I think you should chime in on this and have it as a special topic on your site.

Generally speaking, I agree. While farting in the bathroom is certainly a better option than farting in the office, if it’s going to be a stinky one you should do all you can to contain it. And if it’s that stinky, why aren’t you in the stall having a poop anyways? You’re having stinky farts for a reason after all.

The thing that really gets me though is the people who fart as loudly as they possibly can just because they are in a public bathroom. We have a word for these people – that word is douchebags. Farting more loudly than is absolutely necessary does nothing but indicate you are an idiot.

Now all that said, sometimes it’s hard not to let a little fart slip out at the urinal. All your business is connected down there, and the same techniques used to relax and go pee can lead to a little inadvertent gas escape. So don’t be too quick to judge the guy farting at the urinal – it might have just slipped out.

October 8, 2009   No Comments

Toilet Paper Hanging: The Buyer Decides

We’ve posted a lot about hanging the toilet paper recently. To recap:

Still, the case is hardly closed. In a recent comment, Mollie writes the following:

Um. Over is the correct way. Especially when someone else is living in your house, free of charge, and every single time they replace the roll, it’s under, when I, every single time, switch it. TAKE A HINT!

While I can’t agree with her unequivocal endorsement of Over, she makes a good point. Perhaps the person who actually goes to the trouble of purchasing the toilet paper should be the one who gets to decide how to hang it?

October 6, 2009   No Comments

Use the Damn Urinal

David writes the following:

At work I have “the ideal situation” where there’s 1 urinal and a sit down toilet. Occasionally when I go in there to take a number 2 the person before me has used the sit down toilet to take a pee in, and they pee all over the seat. I wish that you would make it known that when there’s both the urinal and regular toilet option and you only need to pee to use the damn urinal.

Well said. Men, this one’s for you: if you have the choice between a toilet and a urinal, choose the urinal every time. I’m going to give you two good reasons:

  1. Like the man implied above, it’s pretty easy to pee all over the seat of a toilet. It’s a lot harder to do this using a urinal.
  2. Urinals tend to use a lot less water when you flush – at least here in the USA, this problem isn’t as large in countries with

September 14, 2009   No Comments

Masking Sounds

Matthew writes the following:

My name is Matthew, and I’ve recently graduated at ***** and found myself lucky enough to be offered a job.

The current project I’m working on is a bit quarky. Ive been asked to
create a compilation of sounds that ‘mask’ the noises that may happen when
one uses the rest room. I was curious what are common things women do to
mask these sort of things.

That’s a good question, but first, an aside. I’m of the general opinion that masking sounds are ridiculous. If you’re going to a big fuss to make a bunch of noise, all you are really doing is drawing attention to yourself. People use the bathroom, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Now that said, masking practices are pretty common. Generally though, people take a fairly low-tech approach using just the equipment at hand – toilets and sinks. The #1 masking sound is a flushing toilet, followed by a running sink. Neither of these is really a great option though, as toilet flushes don’t last very long and sinks aren’t often that loud.

Which could be why things like an mp3 playing toilet and the Shinobu-Chan toilet ringer were invented. The latter promises 100 decibels (!!!) of simulated toilet flushing madness. Yikes!

Anybody using something else to mask the sound of themselves going potty?

September 1, 2009   4 Comments

Hanging the Toilet Paper: In Defense of Under

The ICBE’s official stance on hanging the toilet paper is that you should do whatever you need to in order to ensure happiness in the home. Both the over and under methods have their advantages. That said, my own personal preference is for under, so I was intrigued to get an email the other day pointing to a rather long-winded blog entry that contained the following tidbit:

My mind is going to explode! Everyone knows that toilet paper should roll from the front.

(You can read the post in its entirety here)

News to me, a self-professed under-er. Even more intriguing though was the supposed scientific basis for this assessment! Sadly, the entire argument (found here) consisted of this one fatally flawed diagram:

Over vs Under and the One Handed Tear

It depicts two possible ways to tear the toilet paper with one hand, and suggests that the under method will always result in you tearing off more squares, thus wasting TP and hurting the environment. Problem is, the diagram is just plain wrong. From my own personal experience I know that I can routinely tear off as little as a single square of TP with just one hand when hung under, yet cannot even manage a single handed tear half the time when hung over. Now its entirely possible that other people will have different results, but to put this forward as scientific fact? Ridiculous!

I for one will continue to happily hang the TP under, and to happily tear off a square at a time with impunity.

August 17, 2009   11 Comments

Dealing With Coworkers

I get emails like this all the time:

We have tried to put up signs in the bathrooms instructing people how to wash their hands (huge problem in this office) and violators keep taking them down. I have almost given up in correcting the problem. Please give any advice that you can.

The problem is, I really don’t have any good advice. How do you correct a behavior so fundamentally flawed as not washing your hands after going to the bathroom? It seems inconceivable that these people are unaware this is common practice, which implies they simply don’t care, or are pathologically insane. Either way, it’s going to be tough to reason with them. Not to mention a little bit awkward bringing things up.

Say… Bob… I noticed you don’t wash your hands after you pee… what’s up with that?

My advice is to wash your own hands even more often than usual, because sometimes the best offense is a good defense.

August 17, 2009   1 Comment

When did men become pussies?

Robert writes the following:

When did men become pussies? Is it a result of the women’s movement? Piss an arm’s length away at a trough? that’s insane. you can fit a whole extra guy in that space. Someone talks to you at a urinal? So talk back, why not? No stalls? So shit in the open, its all guys there. When there are 3 urinals, why not use the middle one? What is it there for decoration? And when all the toilets are full, to stand there and pretend you came in to wash your hands instead of just waiting a minute til a toilet opens up is insane behaviour. Everyone in a men’s room has a penis they pee out of and an asshole they shit out of. Why are men ashamed of either?

The first thing I want to do is address the issue of shame. It’s a common misconception that bathroom etiquette has its roots in shame, but this is simply not the case. A man does not need to be ashamed of his penis, or anything else to want a little breathing room when he goes to the bathroom. If you get on a bus, and there’s only one other passenger, are you going to sit right down beside them? I certainly hope not, and they hope not too. Not because they are ashamed of themselves, but because it’s ridiculous to cram yourself on top of somebody if you don’t have to.

Which brings us to the issue of etiquette vs. law. It’s proper etiquette not to use the middle of 3 urinals, because it’s nice to leave a space between people. That does not however mean that the middle urinal is never going to get used. It’s proper etiquette to not put your elbows on the table, yet it happens all the time. It would sure be nice if it didn’t though, wouldn’t it?

June 24, 2009   No Comments