Category — Celebrities

If you hadn’t heard, Chelsea Clinton is getting married. As the daughter of an ex President, she does things a little fancier than most of us, including renting some of the swankiest portable toilets around for her wedding. TMZ puts the total toilet rental cost at about $15,000 – ouch!

Now I’ve been in some nice portable toilets before, but I have a feeling they won’t be anything like the ones Chelsea’s guests will be enjoying.

Wells Cargo Platinum Edition

I don’t mean to alarm you, but I have it on very good authority that Lance Armstrong just might be watching you pee. I assure you that nobody is more alarmed than us right here at the ICBE, and I furthermore assure you that we will not rest (except for the napping and the sleeping) until we have gotten to the bottom of this situation. Or at the very least until we have made a baseless yet inflammatory blog post on the matter!

Consider the evidence in support of Lance watching you pee:

1. Lance Armstrong owns a bicycle shop named Mellow Johnny’s
2. Said bicycle shop has a bathroom
3. Said bathroom contains a large image of Lance peering menacingly about (see below)
4. Said image may or may not contain cutouts in the eyeball area to allow Lance to peer through them
5. Lance may or may not spend large amounts of time peering through said cutouts

Thanks to BSNYC for the image

Well the evidence is overwhelming – Lance Armstrong is definitely watching people pee! The ICBE has been known to raise several dollars for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, with our intrepid founder spending several painful hours on a bicycle not once but twice in support of exactly this cause, so I can assure you that nobody is more shocked or horrified at this grievous breach of bathroom etiquette than we are. Now in fairness it’s kind of our job to be shocked and horrified at such things, but I can assure you that our shock and horror is on the extreme end of the scale even for us.

I’m really starting to become suspicious of Bike Snob NYC. Not only is a superstar cycling blogger, but he’s also placing an increasing emphasis on bathroom etiquette in his postings (previously). Is he preparing to make his move into the fertile grounds of toilet blogging? Is he eyeing a position of power here at the ICBE?

Take his posting from this Monday for example, a treatise on urinal behavior cloaked in a veneer of cycling:

In particular, I am noticing that as the “fixerati” continue to “come into their own,” they’ve grown increasingly fond of the extremely irritating phrase “on your left.” I really should not have to hear these words if I am simply riding in a straight line and going about my business on my bicycle in the same way that I should not have to hear them when another gentleman sidles up next to me in a public restroom in order to use the neighboring urinal. In both cases, he’s got his space, I’ve got mine, and as long as we stick to that space nobody’s going to cross wheels or streams.

Luckily for all parties involved, regardless of his motivations Bike Snob NYC is dispensing sage advice. There is no need for a warning cry when you approach a urinal, and everyone should have their space. But Bike Snob NYC – I’ve got my eyes on you!

In our continued discussion on toilet seat position, I happened across this tidbit from Super-Mega-Star sports blogger The Fat Cyclist the other day:

Actually, I never leave the toilet seat up. In fact, very early in life I made a habit of putting both the seat and the lid down, then acting all offended and repulsed when women don’t put the lid down after they’re done. I hereby call on all men everywhere to do the same.

The quote from Fatty’s site arose out of a conversation about a few of his personality shortcomings, but his bathroom habits clearly can’t be included in that list. I urge everyone to be like Fatty and keep the seat down!

Lindsay Lohan used to be hot. Now, she’s just kind of sad, and this latest photo shoot isn’t doing much to help. Here she is posing in a bathroom door wearing, well, I really don’t know.

Can this really be the same actress that starred in Mean Girls?

See the rest at Hollywoodtuna

Here at the ICBE, we generally support the idea of reading in the bathroom. As long as it’s not public material (communal newspaper) or something that isn’t yours at all (George Costanza), go ahead and sit down for a few minutes and enjoy yourself.

So that’s why I was rather delighted to know that Bike Snob NYC (you do read his blog, don’t you?) made a rather special trip to the library to hunker down with his latest acquisition. Specifically, he hit up the Brooklyn Public Library to get cozy with a copy of Lance Armstrong’s latest work – Comeback 2.0.

But beyond all that awesomeness, BSNYC took pictures too!!!

I have a new hero…

the sweetest smelling public toilets

Want a piece of those toilets? Better head over to the Big Island then and check out the petroglyphs, because according to none other than Hurley (of Lost fame), that’s where they are located.

Yes, Hurley has a blog, and he’s writing about public toilets. And by writing, I mean mentioning them in passing.

via Metafiler

I will freely confess that I love How I Met Your Mother. I will also freely confess that my wife convinced me to watch the show in the first place. I say this because if I don’t, she will read this post and kick my ass. How is this relevant to the ICBE you may ask? Well, it’s because over on Hulu, the most fantastic How I Met Your Mother promotion possible is going on. That’s right, there’s a picture of the entire cast in the bathroom.

No, I haven’t got a clue what the deal is with this.

PS: Watch the show!

Generally speaking, taking a picture of somebody when they are sitting on the toilet is bad etiquette. There are however exceptions, such as when its the lovely Diora Baird and she’s involved in photo shoot for Maxim Magazine.

Check out the complete photoshoot

I don’t know about you, but I know Jaime Pressly as the kind of attractive actress with that crazy-deep voice. But the weird thing is it’s not really manly, just deep. Womanly deep. No, I don’t understand it either.

Anyways, Jaime must be getting desperate for publicity because this past Sunday she went pee on the sidewalk in the middle of the afternoon. Naturally she claims she was just squatting on the sidewalk and pouring a water bottle underneath herself as she did so, I mean who hasn’t done a little squat-n-pour? Evidently it was all part of a bridal shower game. Real pee or water bottle, that’s got to be the lamest bridal shower ever.

Read

Oh, and by the way, peeing on the sidewalk is not good bathroom etiquette!