Scratchy Toilet Paper? That’s a Trip to the Hospital!

It’s been years since I have used truly awful toilet paper.

A couple of decades ago, when I frequented the public ice arenas of Edmonton, Alberta, I did a lot of necessity-based toilet paper exploration. There was some terrible stuff out there back then. The worst was the TP that was dispensed a single square at a time, and consisted, from what I could tell, of a very fine grain sand paper.

Recently though, my exploration has diminished, and even when I strike out for a public bathroom I’m rarely treated to anything less than perfectly adequate loo roll.

Now for all my experimentation back in the day, never once did I end up hospitalized with a wiping-related ailment, like certain toilet paper manufacturers would have had you believe in the 1920s. That’s right, back long before the internet was even a twinkle in anybody’s eye, scare tactics were being employed to convince people to drop premium cash for premium TP.

When you ask for just “toilet paper,” danger is probably the last thing that enters your mind.

Correct! But wait, it goes on!

You are risking your family’s health every time you do this.

AUGH!!!! My family!!!

via BoingBoing