On putting the seat down…

Bryan B. writes the following:

Dear Sir or Madam:
On Putting the seat down. . .

I’m very sorry but I must disagree on this point. I consider myself somewhat of an expert, having used the bathroom for most of my adult life and a significant portion of my childhood. Let me explain with a brief analogy:
At university, my roommate had an (illegal) toaster oven, which we would use to clandestinely prepare tasty snacks, such as muffins and bagels and the like. Once while he was out, I used it to cook a French bread pizza, which took longer than the average fare.
The next time he used it, he burned his muffins, and attempted to scold me. However, I had a proper defense, using his own major as a machinist against him: “Do you not check the settings on your equipment before attempting to operate it?”
He was disgruntled, but accepted the metaphor. The fact that the female of the species has a need for only setting of the equipment does not make that setting nominal. If I need it up, I lift it up. If I need it down, I put it down. Any woman who lives with a man for over a day should know to check position before use.
Personally, I wouldn’t sit my bare ass down on ANYTHING without giving it a look first; who knows to what horrors I might be exposing my delicate hairy bum–and likewise, dangling testicles are at least as vulnerable as participle.
Furthermore, I am completely unwilling to change my ways at this point in my life.
Good Day

Bryan makes a solid case here, but he seems to forget that we are talking about bathroom etiquette, and not bathroom science. The key here is not what makes the most logical sense in a world where every person takes great care to check the toilet before using it, but rather what is polite, courteous, and just plain nice to do. Women have enough of a raw deal in the bathroom what with the whole “can’t really pee while standing up” situation, so it’s the least that any man can do to leave the seat down when he’s done.

Also, we suspect (and hope) that Bryan has never shared a bathroom with a woman before.